I was working a shift at the hospice Care Center and learned from one of the nurses that there was a patient who was transitioning and might benefit from a visit.  The patient’s name was DJ.  He was in his early 80s and had been unresponsive for 24 hours but had been struggling with terminal agitation.  When I entered the room I found his wife and daughter sitting with him in the room.  DJ had very labored breathing and, while he received medication for his agitation, he remained unsettled.  That agitation was very disconcerting to his wife and daughter.  I asked his wife if she wouldn’t mind telling me a bit about DJ.   She shared with me that he had been a very successful businessman and he cared a great deal about his appearance.  They also mentioned that he would never have allowed himself to have the stubble on his face that he had right then. 

I asked his wife and daughter if they thought DJ might appreciate a shave.  They both thought that would be wonderful.  So, I filled a plastic basin with warm water, collected a few washcloths and towels, some shaving cream and a razor.  Even though DJ was unresponsive, I whispered in his ear introducing myself and telling him that I was there to shave him and help make him comfortable.  As soon as placed the warm washcloth on his face he began to relax.  As applied the shaving cream and began shaving him, he relaxed even further.  By the time I finished shaving him and cleaning and drying his face, he had fallen into a deep and relaxed slumber with no signs of agitation.  He remained in this state until he passed later that evening. 

This experience reminded me that if we pay close attention to our loved ones and watch for signs that suggest a certain action might be helpful or comforting for them, we should seek to take those action, and often times it can bring peace at the end.  Thankfully for DJ, his wife and daughter knew that giving him a shave was one of the ways that just might bring him peace.  And it did.